So, last night I was motivated to at the very least figure out what I want to keep in my life that’s already here & decide what to add & drop.
Inspired by Proust’s Questionnaire, but a little intimidated at the moment, I compiled a list & came up with some questions to help myself navigate the white water rapids that are my current thought processes. I’ve gotta sort this crap out. Know what I mean?
So here are the first things that came to mind that I wanted to know.
(I’m being vulnerable here. These are just my raw answers, so please don’t judge.)
1. What is my focus right now?
My focus seems to be split in so many different directions, that I feel ineffective & completely frustrated.
2. What do I want my focus to be?
After teaching, music.
3. What effect do I want to have?
I want to help people heal & draw closer to the Lord. I want to be necessary to the Lord’s plan, to make a “mark” in people’s lives.
4. What are my regrets if I don’t change my course?
On my current course, I can’t see that I’ll ever really do anything with music. I won’t expand in YL & never focus my writing. My gardening will be sporadic & we’ll spend too much on HI supplies & not make it ‘worth it’.
5. What are my character traits in regard to function?
Spastic, project-oriented, unfocused, easily distracted, strong start, either no finish or finishing too hard & at what cost?, lots of great planning & organization (vision) but struggle with follow thru
6. What traits do I want to add?
Good pace, disciplined follow thru, able to stick to the plan & schedule, able to stay calm & peaceful, strong yet peaceful finishes, ultimately less stress
Now, I also made a list of questions to evaluate each of my priorities & find out what I really want from each of them. I am sooooooo tired of being frustrated with myself & being unproductive (to my standards).
Maybe you understand. I feel like all I do is put out fires. I’m tired of being reactionary, & want to be ‘intentional’. Right?! The buzz word of this century. I’ve been getting closer & closer to this over the years, & maybe will never “arrive”. But what I can do is kick out the junk that muddies the good stuff I *am* doing.
Ok, so here it goes…
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